Crying Like a Baby

Sometimes in life it is necessary to bite your tongue and walk away.  No matter how much someone annoys you, you simply have to smile, turn on your heel and move out of their vicinity.

This morning, I managed this feat of self control (just barely) when confronted by someone I am forced to work with, over something so ridiculously petty and pathetic that it took every ounce of self-control I possessed not to do something that would have surely cost me my job!

The incident (combined with my somewhat exaggerated emotional state due to the imminence of my child's birthday - whole other blog post, trust me!) left me hiding in the little girls room, crying and wishing I could be anywhere else but at work.

My inclination to cry when life gets tough is extremely irritating, but nowhere nearly as irritating as this person was being.  I was literally listening to them speak and seeing them through what could best be described as a red mist of fury!

I am a christian - a firm believer in turning the other cheek, of being the better person.  I try and see the best in everyone and I always take great care to treat others as I would wish to be treated.  So it irks me beyond imagination when someone tests everything I try to be and talks down to me in the middle of a busy office.  I felt so stupid.

Part of the issue is my own self confidence.  Those of you who know me will know that although I have grown in confidence over the last five years, there are still little chinks in my armour....ways to make me go back five years and leave me crying in a corner.

I managed to walk away this morning and to the best of my knowledge, my adversary has no idea of the degree to which they they had upset me.  But I cannot help wishing that I had managed to maintain my seemingly tough exterior beyond the 2 minutes it took me to get to the little girls room.

And I really wish I had had the foresight to bring an eye liner and mascara into work this morning!