The Barbecue: Cooking for the Real Man

It is mid-September, and here in the UK that basically means the weather is "mixed".  Today is overcast and dull, the breeze has a snap of cold in it and the occasional spot of rain is falling from the sky. 

Therefore, not the best weather to light up the barbecue then, wouldn't you say?  

Well, in my house you would be wrong.  For reasons completely beyond my female understanding, my significant other is busying himself in preparation for a barbecue with great vigour and enthusiasm, the like of which is rarely seen for any other domestic task.

The children watch in awe as Dad dazzles them with his barbecue skills

I have drawn the line at eating outside - this would constitute utter madness and a very thick fleece jacket - but even so, I cannot understand why it is that men get so.......well.....excited about it all.

We always cook more burgers than anyone could hope to consume, enough sausages to feed a football team and then there's the chicken, the potatoes and (for my consumption only!) the salad!   So much food!  It is obscene.

Then you have the relish selection - onion relish, sweetcorn relish, jalapeno relish....I could go on, but suspect you get the point.  Strikes me as madness to spend an hour cooking something manly only to drown out the flavour with as much relish as you can squeeze onto your plate/into your burger.

The final straw comes once the meal is consumed and the plates are scraped clean of the (vast quantity of) waste food.  The penny drops.  "Are you going to clean the barbecue grill love?" he asks optimistically.

Not a bloody chance mate! 

When he starts cleaning the oven after I've made a roast, then maybe we can talk about it!